Clear Blue Water has been out of newspapers for an entire year now and I finally feel like writing about what happened at the end. I don’t want to burn any bridges, but I do want to be honest about what happened and how I felt about what happened. So here’s my disclaimer… I really liked everyone I met at Universal Press (especially my editor, Sue), and I would recommend this syndicate to anyone pursuing syndication. They are very good at what they do and they are nice people, to boot. For the most part, I had a really positive experience.
…For the most part. (Cue the dark music. Dun dun dun…)
Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we? Clear Blue Water launched into newspapers on May 3, 2004. I had an okay launch. Nothing spectacular, and nowhere near how many papers I was hoping to land, but it was more than the handful I worried about in my worst case scenerios. How many was it, you ask? Well, I honestly don’t remember exactly. I’m pretty sure it was between 25 and 30, with some big fat good-paying papers thrown in with some smaller ones. On a good note, I got the paper from my college town AND the paper from where we used to live. On a bad note, I didn’t get our local paper, or, in fact, any papers in Florida at all, so I was never able to just pick it up and read it and most people in town had no idea I was a cartoonist. UPS inflated my numbers (as ALL syndicates do), but I can no longer remember what the inflated number they threw around was. Maybe 35 or 40? Maybe 50? It’s all fuzzy these days. My point is, I was happy with my launch and looking forward to seeing how many papers I could and would get from that point forward.
Clear Blue Water’s last day in newspapers was on September 28, 2008 and in those 4.5 years I was syndicated, I ADDED a total of 3 papers. Yes, that’s 3, as in 1, 2, THREE. However, I LOST a bunch of my papers in the first two years, so these were not good numbers at all. To this day I am not sure if the salesmen couldn’t sell it or wouldn’t sell it and it matters not. Each one is a depressing scenerio (for completely different reasons) but the result is the same. I will tell you what NOT to do though. Don’t get pissy with the salesman early on and demand to know if they were even taking it out of their briefcase for the editors to see. Not that I ever did that, but if I HAD, boy, would I have regretted it later. Bad idea. BAAAAAAD idea. Bad. 😉
It got to the point where I dreaded getting my checks in the mail because it would tell you what papers dropped you or added you (the syndicate never told me beforehand). I made my husband open them; I couldn’t even face them. He’d just say, “Holding steady.” Or, “Two drops this month.” People would ask me what papers I was in and I didn’t know anymore because I chose not to know. I faced it by not facing it and choosing not to think about it. The last few years of my strip I mostly held steady. I didn’t add any, but I also didn’t get dropped by any. Still, the stress of what MIGHT be happening behind the scenes was hideous.
I expected the syndicate to drop me at any time for about four years. This was REALLY stressful. I thought about quitting, literally, every single day for those same four years. I worried about it. I fretted. I begged my friends and family to be honest with me and tell me if I sucked. I asked everyone I knew to tell me what to do. And I prayed. Endlessly prayed. Not only for success but mostly for God to let me know what His will was in this. (I KNOW that getting syndicated was a gift from God, and I have come to realize that it was a teaching gift and not necessarily a monetary one. It remains, to this day, a much appreciated blessing, though). If God wanted me to quit, I’d quit, but if He didn’t, I would stick it out.
He never answered. But, I did work out a system (much to His amusement I’m sure!) with God. I told Him if I lost this one particular big paper that I’d know it was a sign from Him to quit and I would. Immediately. But if I didn’t lose that paper, I’d stay on and keep muddling through and trying to make a success of it. I never lost that paper, so I kept going year after year. The thing is, I was still making more than I would working at some part time job around here, and I could set my own hours around our family life, and it was creative and fun and I loved it. If I had been the sole breadwinner in our family, I’d have had to give it up years earlier in order to find a better paying job, but I wasn’t, so I was able to keep it going just because I liked doing it. Getting paid to do it was just…gravy. I just wish I’d made more of a success of it. But I can honestly say that I tried. I made my deadlines and put out the best product that I could for my entire run. And if people knew what our family life was like during that time… looking back, I cannot imagine how I did it.
Every time a cartoonist would stop their strip (and it happens a lot if you are paying attention, which I was) I would feel such a kinship with them, and I’d know that my time was coming soon as well. It’s incredibly difficult to finally get your shot and then realize that no, you AREN’T going to be the next big thing and watch it pass you by. No one but other syndicated cartoonists know how hard this is, and no one else CAN know because there is very little transparency about the process and little honesty about the numbers. And THAT is why I am writing this post. I know aspiring cartoonists won’t listen and they SHOULDN’T listen because everyone thinks THEIR strip will be the next blockbuster one, and sometimes they are right. All I can say is that I would not, at this time, choose to pursue syndication again. I hear of all these wonderful cartoonists desperate for syndication and it’s so bittersweet for I used to be one of them. Yes, there is big success to be had but for most it’s a road ultimately filled with exhaustion, unrelenting deadlines, and much too little success or appreciation.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I’d pretty much decided that if I made it to my five year anniversary, I’d quit (which would have been May 3, 2009). It had become more than obvious to me that this endeavor was not going to be blessed, so it was time to move on down the road. And five years was a nice round number, and a more than respectable try, I thought.
Fast forward to the summer of 2008. A bunch of things were coming to a head in my life and I spent the majority of the summer praying hard for guidance in these things. One of the things I was desperate for was an answer. A definite yes, drop your cartoon right now for I have something else up my sleeve for you, or a definitive no, I want you to keep going and I’m finally going to bless your efforts. It was definitely a ‘shit or get off the pot’ time in my life. At this point, I didn’t really care what the answer was, I just wanted to KNOW so I could stop fretting about it. It was taking up an inordinate amount of my time and attention.
On August 4th, I received a letter from the syndicate. As soon as I saw it, I knew what it was. My husband was immediately suspicious of its contents as well. Before I opened it, I told him, “I bet’cha UPS is dropping Clear Blue Water.” And I was right. It was brief and to the point. They were stopping production on September 28th. The thing is, I’d already turned in the Sunday after that. When Lee found out he told me I could continue another week, but I chose not to and just dropped the last Sunday instead. Because I was so far ahead of deadline, this ending date gave me only two weeks notice to wrap up my cartoon. I dropped a storyline in the middle because I didn’t want to waste any of my last two weeks on it, and in mid August, I finished. It was not the ending I’d hoped for, and I wish I’d been given more notice, but them thar’s the breaks, right?
I have to admit two things. When I first read the letter, I was not upset. I was relieved. I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I immediately thanked God for the answer. It was an absolute answer to prayer. It was not the answer I’d HOPED to get, but it was so nice to finally get some direction! And, it was a relief to have the decision I’d been just suffering about torn out of my hands completely.
Then I began to feel really bad. I mean, I’d been working with this syndicate for over five years and I didn’t even merit a phone call. I didn’t mind that they dropped me (I had been expecting it, as I said), I just minded the way it was done.
Why and how did I choose to make a go of it as a web cartoonist? Well, that’s a story for another time. More to come eventually…
21 comments
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October 1, 2009 at 6:36 am
TerryRindalJr
Yeah! I am glad to see you put up the new comic strip! Being a father of 3 teenage daughters, I loved this morning’s strip. Thanks for posting. Keep them comming, and we’ll keep reading.
October 1, 2009 at 9:32 am
Shannon
My boyfriend and I read your comic in one of the papers we would get. I was actually surprised when he said he read it because it didn’t seem his style. However, he would be all excited over a particularily funny one and would be all “Did you read CBW today?!”
It’s still awesome even if we only get it in small bites at a time. 🙂
October 1, 2009 at 10:16 am
Carrol
Why don’t you do a MWF schedule- Pibgorn used to be that way, and it was ok.
October 1, 2009 at 11:36 am
Cathy
I don’t remember when it was or what the circumstance was that I first read your comic. I just remember it was at the time your Seth was being diagnosed with autism and I felt a ‘kinship’ of sorts. Here was a comic strip I could relate to. Who understood that you could either laugh at circumstance or cry. Your characters echoed my flawed sense of humor, parenting my 3 children and dealing with people who ‘didn’t have a clue’. I felt ‘normal’, lol! You see, I have a child (well, not so much a child anymore, he’s 18) with a disability and a form of autism. He was cute when he was little which attracted a lot of un-needed attention. They would inevitably ask me how old he was, and looking and acting much younger than he was, when I’d reply, the shocked look that turned to horrified that turned to some ridiculous comment….I was Eve. I’d either get angry, rude or eventually find some way to laugh it off.
I don’t even know if your comic was ever in our paper. I’m out in western Canada. I eventually found your strip online (I think it was through the Seattle paper online). What kept me coming back was not only Seth, but you would ‘tell it like it is’.
So thank you. For continuing to entertain us. 🙂
October 1, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Kovalic
Wow. Great reading. It mirrors my experiences with a syndicated strip almost 20 years ago. I’m sorry to hear of your tribulations, but your fears, etc., are almost word-for-word mine, way back when…
October 1, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Mike A.
Wow. I totally relate. I’m going throught the SAME exact thing right now. 😦 Do you have an e-mail address here that I’m missing?
October 1, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Jennifer
Thanks for sharing that story. And thanks for deciding to continue with CBW on the web. I always read CBW on Yahoo.com and the first day I clicked on there and couldn’t find it, I was very disappointed and sad. Ok, I was kind of devasted. I did a search and found out that you were no longer going to be syndicated and that’s how I ended up finding this site. I’m glad I did because your comic is that good. Don’t doubt it. It’s fresh and different from anything else out there. My favorite part is that the characters evolve and change. Not to take away from their success but the “big” comics out there like Cathy, the Peanuts and Garfield, it’s just the same thing recycled over and over throughout the years. You are better because you have to come up with a new story line every week as the family grows and changes. My favorite comic used to be For Better or For Worse until she started all over. Now CBW is my favorite comic.
Anyway, I just have one question if you feel like answering. I’m just wondering why you even considered quitting while you were syndicated? Like you said, it was money in your pocket for doing something that you loved. Why not just sit back and enjoy the ride while it lasted? Or was it just the stress of wondering when you would be dropped?
October 1, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Ted Seeber
I came here as you died. I don’t remember you ever being in the Oregonian, not even as a test strip to vote on like they run sometimes. I think I came here looking for stuff on autism, since that has become a *MAJOR* interest of mine since my own diagnosis.
Thanks for a good year of webcomix.
October 1, 2009 at 7:34 pm
mark heath
Short of divorcing my wife and marrying your husband, your story could be mine. That monthly check was a roll of the dice, a lottery ticket, a doctor’s prognosis. And when Spot ended, I felt simultaneous relief and sadness.
October 2, 2009 at 12:18 am
clearbluewatercomic
TerryRindalJr, thanks! This may or may not have been pulled straight out of my own life… I plead the fifth!
Shannon, thank you! I’m always glad to hear that a man liked my strip because I really tried to not make it all from Eve’s point of view.
Carol, I did think about it, but I’d rather try for five days a week. I get irritated with MWF strips myself, (but only because if I like a strip, I don’t like to wait!)
Cathy: That was very sweet. I almost didn’t make Seth autistic out of fear of how it would be received, but I have never regretted it. In fact, I can’t imagine Seth any other way! I was in some papers in Canada, so maybe that is where you saw it first! Thanks for writing.
Kovalic: I knew that I couldn’t be the only one who had experienced this, and it’s nice to find out I wasn’t. But I’m sorry you had to go through that too. It was a very stressful time in my life… nd that’s about all I have to say about that right now!
MikeA: I’m sorry! I’d love to hear about it and chat about it if you want to share. clearaguaazul at yahoo dot com.
Jennifer: Thanks! And I don’t mind answering at all. I considered quitting because even though I was making more than I’d make at a part time job, I was NOT making anywhere near enough to compensate me for the amount of time it took to do it. I could have given up my cartoon, taken a full time job somewhere else and easily made 3 times as much money. Doing a syndicated cartoon is time-consuming. You have to write it, draw it, ink it, scan it, fix mistakes, color Sundays… easily 40 hours a week if not more…for less than minimum wage. Because it took me so long to do it, I had no time to work a second job. Not if I wanted a life.
I kept it because it was a labor of love. It was worth it to me to work hard for little compensation, and I could justify the time spent doing it because it was my real job. And yes, the stress of wondering what would happen played a major part… Thanks for asking!
Ted, you are welcome! Autism has been a major interest of mine since my son’s diagnosis, I totally understand.
Mark, Spot the Frog was wonderful and charming and it SHOULD have gotten big. I do understand the relief mixed with sadness though. Kind of how we felt recently when we had to put our dog to sleep. Relief that her suffering was now over, but really sad to say goodbye.
October 2, 2009 at 4:34 am
Piers Baker
This is a beautifully written piece Karen. I thought I was the only one who opened their checks with one eye (or sometimes both eyes) shut.
October 4, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Mike Cope
Hi Karen,
Thank you for taking time to write and share this personal story. You’ve certainly offered a perspective for other cartoonists, including myself, to learn from.
I wish you best of luck with your future cartooning endeavors.
October 4, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Linda T
Glad you’re back. I have nothing in common with you except being a female and trying to live a life (not a parent, not living in Florida, not a cartoonist)–I just like your work. And your blog.
October 5, 2009 at 7:33 am
Matt
Karen, just so you know, your blog post has inspired a hefty number of comments on the site: dailycartoonist.com
Scroll down the to the brief about your posts to see the comments.
October 6, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Hans
I actually remember seeing your comic before. I think it was in my newspaper, the Quad City Times.
No offense, but you’re really not that good at cartooning. The art was lame, and I remember thinking the writing wasn’t much better. Sorry, but the reason your comic suffered was because of you.
October 6, 2009 at 11:50 pm
clearbluewatercomic
“No offense, but…” Buckle up, as I’m about to TOTALLY offend you…
Your opinion is one I am not unfamiliar with. Luckily, I don’t happen to agree with you.
You, however, suck. 😉
Really, it’s kind of dicky to come to my blog and write this. Not to think it, but to come here and write it. And since I’m sure you knew that beforehand, and chose to do it anyway, I have no problem telling you that.
These kids today… no manners…
October 6, 2009 at 11:56 pm
clearbluewatercomic
Piers and Mike, thanks.
Linda T. Well, that makes me happy. If LOVE it when people I have nothing in common with like my work. Thanks for telling me that!
Matt: Thanks. I was aware of it. It just took me a few days to get the courage up to read them.
I’m kind of a weenie, I am… Interesting discussion. I’m glad I read it.
October 7, 2009 at 7:29 am
mark heath
Writing is the hardest part of a comic strip, and I thought Karen’s writing was excellent. IS excellent. As for the drawing, that’s why they call it cartooning.
October 10, 2009 at 2:22 am
Kicking the cartooning up a notch
[…] not like once you’re syndicated, you’ve got it made. As the cartoonist behind Clear Blue Water found out, it can be a roller coaster of anxiety – waiting to see who’s dropped you and […]
October 10, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Donna Barstow
Karen, you might remember that I wrote to you last year asking about uclick, since you were one of 5? women on there. THANK YOU for being upfront about what happens in syndicates. I think I’ve done the same in my blog about my cartoon books, but have only partly talked about my current syndicate.
There’s a terrible lot of stress, but I control it by only doing 2 cartoons a week now (or 3 if I’m feeling happy.). I think you should consider 3 a week.
I’m like you in that I listen to what God says, too. I’m still here. But I agree with you about “questioning” what the sales person is doing. Would I be a terrible person if I kept questioning and complaining about a sales person, or would I be a smart cartoonist? I go with super-smart!
I don’t get how they could legally decide to drop you. You have a contract and buyers – they would be hard pressed to prove you couldn’t do the job.
October 10, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Donna Barstow
Oops, forgot my gravatar. And HELLO Mark Heath!