I recently hurt my back doing Zumba.  Yes, those dancing workout tapes you might have seen on a late night infomercial or two.  They are really fun tapes, really great workouts, and I feel like an absolute ass that I hurt myself so badly doing it.  In fact, it’s been thoroughly embarrassing thing to admit to people when they ask how I hurt myself.  First of all, they are always incredulous.

ZUMBA?!!!!!  said in a near scream.  This is followed by an evil grin and I can see them imagining me doing it.  YOU do Zumba?  The Brazilian dance craze sweeping the nation?

This I find irritating.  For, you see, I am fairly dancy, but I do like to keep this part of my personality on the down low so as to not cause jealousy in the masses.  I will have you know that I own Hip Hop abs, and I have done them a few times so I am perfectly ready to throw down some moves on the dance floor.  If, you know, I had that sort of life.

Secondly, then they ask all about Zumba and forget to give me sympathy for my back pain.  How do you like it?  Is it a fun workout?  Is it easy?  Yeah, but what about ME and my BACK????

So I went to the Dr.  and she said I had a pinched nerve.  I told her I’d need at least a morphine pump or maybe some of those drugs that Elvis was on, or maybe even a wee bit of the crack, but she told me Tylenol and a heating pad would be fine and that I should feel loads better very soon.  And she was right.  Today I woke up back to normal.  Oh, and she also told me I could continue to do Zumba, but to be careful as I’m over forty now.

Weeps.

In other news, today was the last Oprah Winfrey show.  I meant to watch but I missed it.  I will try to catch it on youtube sometime.  It led the news.  “Today, Oprah Winfrey wrapped up her beloved show…” and my husband says, before I can say a word “Did they roll her out on a cross?  Because that’s the only fitting end.”

And I lost it.

What a great cartoon that would have made, if, of course, I hadn’t just shared it here on my blog.  My husband is the funniest person I know.  He has exactly my sense of humor (except mine’s not as vulgar) and this is rare.

‘S why I married him.  Why we’ve been together so long.  For the road to happiness is paved with Oprah jokes.

Advertisement