Yesterday, I had a bonafide public hissy-fit.  The kind where you sort of leave your body and watch yourself going off.  The kind where you scare people who think they know you well and now realize that there is much more darkness going on underneath the surface than they’d been previously privvy to.  The kind where you are embarrassed and ashamed afterward, but you are also kind of happy because you were NOT wrong and now the air is clear and for good or bad you have forced a new beginning.

Yeah, I kind of enjoyed it.  …Afterwards.

I do not usually do this.  Usually, I think things and wish I’d said things, but usually I am in more control of my emotions.  But yesterday, someone pushed one of my buttons BUT GOOD, and I, briefly, (Oh so very briefly), lost my mind all over this person.  I am not proud of what happened, mostly because it happened in front of innocent people who didn’t need to be exposed to such vitriol.  I wish I could go into more detail, but it’s probably better if I don’t.  Suffice it to say, I protected my kids and let them know that they are super important to me and they can count on me to back them up.

Oh, and my husband had my back.

Honestly, when it was all over I realized that what I’d done reminded me of Eve.  We really are not similar people at all, but this time I reacted exactly as I imagine she would have.

This both makes me happy and scares me at the same time. 

She might not always be rational, but she’s consistently irrational in the same ways. 

…There are worse things, I expect…

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