You know, I never had a weight problem until I started having children. I was a rail-thin child and young adult. I managed to get my figure back after my oldest was born, but I had two more children in quick succession and suddenly, for the first time ever, I was fat. I went on my first diet ever when I was in my late twenties and I did very well with it. I lost all the weight I needed very quickly and I couldn’t understand why this was a problem for other people. That was a big mistake. Pride goeth before a fall and all that jazz.
Then I got pregnant with twins and I gained 65 lbs. I was told to do it, and I followed my doctor’s advice to the letter. The upside was that I ended up with HUGE healthy babies and no C-section. The downside was that I have NEVER gotten my body back for any length of time since my twins were born. I was SO enormous at the end of my pregnancy that I didn’t even recognize myself. I couldn’t drive because my stomach couldn’t fit behind a wheel. I couldn’t fit into the booths at restaurants. I was a spectacle everywhere I went. Honestly, I was the largest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen outside of women who are carrying sextuplets. Women used to come up to me and spontaneously express their pity. “You POOR thing!” they’d say as I lumbered along resentfully in the Florida summer’s heat.
After the babies were born, I was left with a body I didn’t recognize. I had a saggy, drooping stomach, stretchmarks on top of stretchmarks (TMI, perhaps?) and a lot of extra weight. I lost 42 lbs in the first two weeks just because I was breast feeding and weight was just sloughing off of me. But then I started to gain it back. Slowly at first and then faster and faster. I went on a diet and lost some. Then I’d gain some. Then I’d lose it again. Over and over and over I’d yo-yo. Now I was not so complacent. Not so prideful about my own skinny body and abilty to lose weight at the drop of a hat.
I began running again. I would lose some. Then I’d slack off on the exercise and I’d gain it back again. Right now, I’m nowhere near my heaviest weight, but I’m also nowhere near my thinnest. So, I am going to attempt to diet one last time. As luck would have it, the new year approacheth, which is a wonderful opportunity to start anew. I’d like to finally get a handle on this weight thing for good. Yes, Lord, I believe we can chalk this down to a lesson learned. Okay? No more pridefulness. I am humble and you can just let this lesson go and move on to the next one. M’kay? Pleaaasse?
I am going to spend the first part of the new year exercising like mad and eating for one and not for a football team. Then I shall attempt that thing I cannot seem to figure out. Maintenance! If all goes well, I shall be ready for my appearance on Oprah around late April, early May-ish.
I’m sure she’s penciling like mad to squeeze me in… 😉
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December 29, 2008 at 10:56 am
Christina
You’ve just described my body to a tee. My twins are two.
PS- loved today’s strip. People have said that to me, and I’m floored every time.
December 29, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Brooke
Hi! I’ve been following your strip for some time, and I just love it!
I hear ‘ya on the weight. Although I didn’t have twins, I had three kids in quick succession, and getting the weight off was a battle. Although there’s a lot less of me, I’m still not totally ‘back.’
Good luck to you! 🙂
December 29, 2008 at 12:26 pm
A Noun
“Twins? Are you sure?” The only other dumb thing she could have asked was, “Are you sure they’re yours?”
December 29, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Rosesmom1
Oh gosh Karen, I feel your pain. My last baby was a 9+ pounder, and although I only gained 18 pounds while pregnant, people would say “are you sure your not having twins?” I got so tired of hearing that, when I was wheeled into the hospital in labor, sitting in the registration area, the lady typing my info into the computer said “are you sure your not having twins???? I told her she was the last person that would be asking me that question, and I would soon be proving my answer. That child is 12 years old now, and I STILL weigh 4 pounds more than on the day she was born. Granted I am 40 something, and the metabolism slows down and all that. If you find the right combination of exercise and diet, let me know. I would love to get rid of about 15 pounds without yo-yo-ing right back
December 29, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Heather
Right here with you. Mom of five. Numbers 3 and 4 are twin boys. I started reading your strip when I was pregnant with my fifth and Eve was pregnant with the twins. I still remember the first one I read: Eve and Manny are in bed, she with the covers off and he, freezing, all bundled up. The final punchline had her complaining “And stop those teeth chattering! Man, you’re annoying tonight!” You even showed a few stretch marks on her belly and I thought “I love this strip!”
My boys are fraternal, but “look identical.” So I’ve heard the “Are you sure?” line many times, just from a different angle.
Please keep writing. You speak to more people than you know. And it always helps to be able to laugh at the absurd, especially in our own lives.
December 29, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Jennifer A
I am in the boat with you but I have been fat all my life 🙂 I found that livestrong.com is a good website because it has something called the daily plate where you can track your food easily. I lost 13 pounds so far using it…
Good luck and Happy New Year
December 29, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Jennifer A
Oh and CONGRATS on Oprah!! How awesome is that!
December 30, 2008 at 7:23 am
Shari
Heather, I wonder if I know you. I used to have a neighbor with that name, and she had boys 3 and 4 shortly before she moved away. They were only babies, but look identical, but then her other two boys looked very similiar too.
December 30, 2008 at 12:21 pm
clearbluewatercomic
Jennifer A. I was joking about Oprah. I’m one of those people who think about Oscar speeches and what I’d say on Oprah and of course, neither of those things are ever likely to happen and I’m okay with it. Just to be totally honest, if I WAS invited on Oprah and I wasn’t thin at the time? I’d turn it down. That’s how seriously twisted up in knots I am! Sorry for the lame joke! I am definitely going to have to look up Livestrong.com. Is this Lance Armstrong’s site?
Christina, yes that has been said to me as well. I carried them for nine months and gave birth to them. I THINK I’m sure they’re twins. And yes, I know it’s a joke. I just think it’s stupid anyway.
Brooke, thanks for the luck. I know that some women never seem to look like they had a baby, but I am not one of those lucky gals!
A Noun, yes and then I could say, no, actually, I totally stole them from that woman over there. Shhhh!
Rosesmom 1, My baby before the twins was huge also and I got the are you SURE it’s not twins throughout the entire pregnancy. Then when I was actually carrying twins I got the are you SURE it’s not triplets? Sigh. I couldnt’ win.
Heather, what a cool story! And thanks for the encouragement. That was really sweet!
December 31, 2008 at 2:05 am
Jetaun
I had my 2 in quick succession, and have always been “thick” – well, I still am. I still get “When is the baby due?” My response? “4 years ago -i’m just a fattie.” and they usually just gape. It’s not thier fault – I am big. So, I will try Weight Watchers agian, which helped me lose 25 lbs last year – and I wasn’t starved. I’ve gained about 10 back – so I am determined to lose at least 40 lbs this year. But if not – my husband is cool & still thinks I’m beautiful and I guess that’s all that matters.