Questions about (and instructions on how to use) the Comics Archives

The comics archives are listed on the left side of the blog.  They are linked roughly by week, and they are dated.  They are complete.  If there are dates missing that is because I didn’t publish  a cartoon on those dates.    For archives 1-6 simply click on the image once to make it bigger.  Starting at Archive 7 you need to click once on the half cartoon you can see.  Then it will become whole but small.  Click on it once more and it will become large enough to read.  Starting with Archive 26 (July 8-15) the comics were uploaded together so to read that bunch, just click on it about three times and all of them will come up at once (instead of having to do this one comic at a time).

Clear Blue Water is retiring soon. For a short time, I will be uploading comics to my website until I am done.  You can find the link to my website under my blogroll on the left.

“And so shines a good deed in a weary world”

That  quote is from the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” with Gene Wilder.  It’s from the scene at the end of the movie when Charlie hands Wonka back his everlasting gobstopper and does the right thing even though it will not benefit him in any way.  And that is what I feel that the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts, did today.  And it absolutely blows my mind.  Finding out he had a heart, after all, makes me wonder if, perhaps, Romney has one too? (I know,  I know,  he DOES have one.  Why, he sobs, hourly, over the plight of the rich).

I admit it, I cannot get enough of the Supreme Court ruling about President Obama’s healthcare program today.  Just cannot get enough of it.  I woke up this morning depressed and resigned to the fact that the conservatives on this court were going to strike this down.  And then the opposite happened.  Totally unexpected, and yet, totally wonderful as well.  What a great day for America!  I might just have to try and muster up some, why yes I mean it, some gosh-darned pep.

Ahem.  Go USA.  Ahem.  Now I am exhausted.

I’ve been watching Hardball and Politics Nation with Al Sharpton and the news… Man, I am full up with this right now.  I liked the swagger (there is no other word for it) in Obama’s walk when he came out to do his press conference.  I like a President with swagger.  No, let me amend that.  I like a SANE president with swagger.  I like a democrat with swagger.  I heartily dislike republicans who swagger and tend to avoid them at all cost.

Romney swears that his first deed in office will be to repeal this law.  As my husband said, “He was for it before he was against it, but he was neutral on it when he was strapping his dog to the roof of his car.”  I’m not really sure what that means, but I know I like it.  Good luck with that Romney.

One other thing I wonder about, and I know this WILL be misconstrued so I hope you read all of what I am saying and my reasoning behind saying it…  All these conservative republicans who went on and on about Obama being a muslim and how they could not vote for a president who was not a Christian, are planning on voting for Mitt Romney–who is NOT a Christian.  President Obama IS a Christian, Romney is NOT a Christian, and they don’t see it as hypocritical?

Now, before you bash me for saying that Mormons are not Christians, you should look into it.  I am not bashing Mormonism at all, I’m just stating that they are NOT the same faith.  Mormons have the Christian bible AND the book of Mormon.  They believe that Jesus (the son of God) and Satan (a fallen angel) are BROTHERS.  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life.” John 3:16.  At the end of Revelation it says that this book is COMPLETE.  So if God, as the Bible states, has only ONE son, how is Satan Jesus’ brother?  And if the Bible, as it states,  is complete, where does that put the book of Mormon?

I’m not saying Mormons are bad.  In fact, almost without exception, every Mormon I’ve ever known has been very nice and helpful and pious.  But they are not Christian.  Christianity and Mormonism are DIFFERENT.  Apples and oranges.  Both perfectly nice fruit, but not the same fruit.  They are not the same faith, and that is my only point here.  So it seems to me (and I could be wrong, I suppose) that these conservative Christian republicans are so … racist that in a race for President between a Christian and a non-Christian, having stated publicly before that they could not EVER vote for a non-Christian, will now vote for one simply BECAUSE he’s white.  I find this horrifying and  fascinating at the same time.  Because the way they talk about it, their Christianity is who they are and how they vote and it turns out that they just hate to see a black man running this country.

And yes, I totally meant that to be as harsh as it sounds.  I’m done with the kid-gloves.  I’m gonna call a racist a racist, and I urge you to do the same.  I loathe Mitt Romney for a lot of reasons, but his being a Mormon is not one of them.  I certainly would vote for a Mormon if I thought he was the best person for the job, but I never publicly stated that I only vote for  Christians.  I loathe Mitt Romney because he was a mean bully to a gay kid way back when he was in prep school, and I doubt he’s changed much since then.  I loathe him because he keeps changing his mind about his beliefs.  I loathe him because he does not seem to care about poor people or disabled people or women.  I loathe him because he is corrupt.  I loathe him because he lies.  I loathe him because his ONLY concern is the rich in this country.  I loathe him because I know that if he wins, my daughters will inherit an incredibly scary mess of a country where they are not valued, as women, at all.  Romney will not be a good president because he’s not a good man.  And that has nothing to do with his faith.

President Obama is not perfect.  He could be doing a lot of things better, but he’s done SO much good and republicans ignore it all.  Let’s list just a FEW of the things he’s done since he took office.  1. He passed his healthcare bill.  A monumental achievement.  2.  Osama Bin Laden was assassinated on his watch.  3. He moved troops out of Iraq.  4.  He saved the automobile industry.  5. He has systematically taken out a lot of the terrorists who were on the most wanted list.

He’s a good president.  He’s a great leader and a bold one with the courage of his convictions.  He should be reelected.  And now, more than ever before, I believe with all my heart that 95% of people who are against him are against him BECAUSE he’s a black man.  They are racist and it’s sickening.  If a republican president had done a fraction of the stuff that Obama has done he’d be hailed as greater than Ronald Reagan (who I believe, though not being a republican I could be wrong , is their gold standard?).  Obama saved this country–which was in Bush-tatters when he took over– and he gets no credit.  No, America has a LONG way to go before we are fixed, but if McCain had won?  Dear God, I shudder to think about where we’d be right now.

And that is not hyperbole.

I might brave Fox News for the morning shows tomorrow.  If I do, I shall bring my popcorn.  This is gonna be fun!  The tantrums, the whining, the kicking of the dirt.  Bring it on!

Rush Limbaugh is a pig

Are you following what is going on right now with this pig?  Ugh.  It’s disgusting.  HE’S disgusting.  I have so little respect for the man that I will not use his name again in this entire post.  I will just call him “Pig”.  Let me tell you what Pig is up to.

There is a Georgetown 3rd year law student named Sandra Fluke who was recently supposed to be a Democratic witness at a Congressional hearing about Obama’s contraception policy.  She was banned from speaking on the all male committee after being deemed unqualified.  (Ultimately, only men were allowed to express opinions). Democrats held their own hearings on February 23, and Ms. Fluke was allowed to speak during this.  She testified about the contraception policy at her school (which has religious ties) at the hearing which was led by Nancy Pelosi.  Ms. Fluke testified that it could cost up to $1000 a year to pay for birth control and it wasn’t covered by the Georgetown health plans.  She talked about the need for birth control for reproductive reasons as well as other medical reasons.  She advocated for a friend who had ovarian cysts and who’s PRESCRIBED contraception was not covered by Georgetown’s health plans, making it cost prohibitive.  Here’s a quote from her  “Contraception can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school.  For a lot of students like me who are on public interest scholarships, that’s practically an entire summer’s salary.”

Here are some of the comments Pig has recently made about Ms. Fluke.

“A woman comes out of nowhere.  She’s having so much sex she can’t pay for it.  So the woman comes forth with this, frankly, hilarious claim that she’s having so much sex, and her buddies with her, that she can’t afford it.  And not one person says, ‘Well, did you ever think about maybe backing off the amount of sex that you have? Do you ever think maybe it’s your responsibility for your own birth control, not everybody else’s?’”

“What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke (sic) who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex–what does that make her?  It makes her a slut, right?  It makes her a prostitute.  She wants to be paid to have sex.  She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception.  She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex.”

When asked to apologize, this was Pig’s response.  “So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex. We want something for it. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.”

Here was her wonderful response.

“I guess my reaction is the reaction a lot of women have when they’ve been called these names. Initially you’re stunned but then, very quickly, you’re outraged because this is, historically, the kind of language that is used to silence women, especially women who stand up and say that these are their reproductive health care needs and this is what they need. And what’s been amazing to me today is the outpouring of support. Everyone from members of Congress to Georgetown faculty to so many women who’ve contacted me, and I think it’s clear from what they’ve said that they’re not going to be silenced by this.”

President Obama called Ms. Fluke while she was in the green room waiting to go on MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell Reports.  She told Ms. Mitchell that, “He encouraged me and supported me and thanked me for speaking out about the concerns of American women.  What was really personal for me was that he said to tell my parents that they should be proud. And that meant a lot because Rush Limbaugh questioned whether or not my family would be proud of me. So I just appreciated that very much.”

This was Pig’s response to President Obama’s call.  “Obama told Fluke that her parents should be “proud” of her. I’d be embarrassed.  I’d disconnect the phone. I’d go into hiding.”

Here is a copy and pasted paragraph from Pig’s Wikipedia page that shows how specific people are reacting.

In response Georgetown University President John DeGioia described Limbaugh’s remarks as misogynistic, vitriolic and a misrepresentation.^[149] Minority Leader in the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi has called the comments “obnoxious” and also described them as “vicious and inappropriate attacks”.^[153][154] Speaker of the United States House of Representatives John Boehner has echoed the claim that Limbaugh’s remarks were inappropriate,^[155] while Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has said he disagrees with the language used,^[156] but fellow Republican primary candidate Rick Santorum dismissed the comments stating that “an entertainer can be absurd.”[

Pig is finally starting to lose sponsers for his radio show and it’s my hope that they would all pull out and that he finally be fired.  Pig is a misogynistic bully and if someone can be fired and or shamed for making racist comments then I think the same standards should apply for calling someone a slut for something they do themselves.  Oh yes, did I forget to mention that part of this equation?  This is the part that the big news organizations haven’t picked up yet.

What Sandra Fluke wants is for her birth control to be covered by her health plan.  Her school’s health plan, which I’m assuming she pays for with her tuition, does not cover her contraception.  Pig’s argument is that somehow if her school’s plan DID pay for her birth control, he would somehow have to pay for it.  This is untrue.  If you pay the premium then YOU are paying for your benefits, including birth control, heart medication, etc.  She simply wants birth control to be covered like other things are covered by her health plan.

The way insurance works is that we earn a salary.  As a benefit, we can pay a premium to an insurance company and they will then cover the bulk of our health needs (perescriptions, hospitilazations, etc).  The point is, we are paying for our own insurance.  Sometimes quite a bit.

By Pig’s own argument, all of us taxpayers have been paying through the nose for his addiction to Oxycodone and for his Viagra.  Yes.  Pig uses Viagra.  In fact, he was detained with Viagra which he did not have a prescription for a few years back when coming home from the Dominican Republic.  Thus by his own argument, I have been paying for his Viagra (assuming he’s now got the requisite prescription thing worked out).  I have been paying for Pig to have sex?  There is not enough brain bleach in the world to get rid of that horrible mental picture.

How is that OK but birth control isn’t?  And how does it make a woman a slut to want birth control?  It’s not like you use more when you are having more sex.  A virgin taking the pill to regulate her periods would take the same amount as a woman actively trying to prevent pregnancy.  What Pig is attempting to do is to slut-shame Ms. Fluke and all other women into shutting up about their reproductive rights and options.  But it won’t work.

It is OK for women to have sex and to like sex.  It is OK to use birth control.  Why are we still having these conversations in 2012?  It scares me that Rick Santorum does not think women should use birth control.  What if he became the Republican nominee for President?  It scares me that Republicans in this country seem to be going (HARD) after women’s reproductive rights.  We shouldn’t use birth control and yet abortion should be illegal.  (As a Christian woman, I am currently up in the air about abortion.  I hate baby killing just as much as I hate anyone else making any decisions about me and my body.  Just wanted to put that out there).  Where does that leave women?  Essentially, we should not be having sex at all, it seems.  Go back into the kitchen women, until we beckon you from our marital beds.  In the meantime, make me a snack, I’m hungry.

WTF America.  WTF indeed.

I know I said I was done, but…

I heard something so assinine on radio today that I wanted to make a cartoon, and then I realized that I don’t cartoon anymore, and then I wanted to blog about it but then I remembered that I don’t do that anymore, either.  MAN.  What’s a woman to do?  Blog about it anyway.  So here goes.

Ann Romney was being interviewed.  She was talking about how Mitt was, last year, considering not running for president this year.  They were having a serious talk about it as a couple, you know, weighing the pros and the cons.  And then she said that she said to him, AND I QUOTE, “But Mitt, can you save America?” and he said “Yes.  Yes I can.”  And so it was decided.  And so it shall be.

Can you IMAGINE the ego, the …hubris, the unmitigated GALL  it takes for someone to think that they, and they alone can save America? That they are soooo smart and soooo wise and sooooo important that if they don’t step in, why, we’ll all just be lost.  Thank goodness for Mitt.  And I mean that sincerely.   Thank goodness he answered that call.

I would not be surprised if during the next debate he suddenly rips open his suit and he’s wearing a superhero outfit underneath.  He’ll fly away singing, “Here I come to save the day!”  These people are so out of touch they might as well be from a different planet.

Be afraid, America.  Be very afraid.  For Mitt is coming.  He’s out there.  …Lurking…   …And he wants to be our latex salesman.

The long goodbye…

My goodness, but I certainly know how to drag things out, huh?

This year has been a good one for our family.  My husband went into remission and has stayed there.  My son Sawyer has gotten 100% better now that he’s got the right meds and he’s coming into the downward side of puberty.  My daughter Clem left for college.  I miss her very much but she is having a ball and getting good grades and generally being a great kid so I cannot complain.  The other kids are doing well in their areas as well.  I have nothing to complain about.

…Well, except for the Republicans, but hey, what can you do?  They’re always gonna be there.

I have wanted to post so many times this year, but something always held me back.  When you blog it feels like you are keeping a journal, but it’s not.  It’s a diary read by others, and not always the others you’d choose to share your thoughts and opinions with.  I love to write, but I have no desire to be a mommy blogger.  I have nothing against mommy bloggers–I read a slew of mommy blogs and like them.  But it’s just not me.  I don’t want to share my kids names or pictures.  So that’s out.  I could blog about cartooning, except I’ve kind of given that up for Lent.  So that’s out as well.  I could blog about politics because I LOVE me some politics, and maybe I will someday.  But that day is not today.  Today, I can think of nothing that I am willing to share that would possibly keep anyone interested, so I am shutting this blog down.

Maybe not forever–who knows.  But my plan is to start the new year fresh.  I really felt like I needed to get this batch of cartoons done today–before the new year.  I felt like God was clearly telling me to give Clear Blue Water up.  It’s time had passed.  Stop dragging it out and be done with it.  He has something fresh and new for me in the new year.  And I am all about fresh and new right now!

I only regret that I won’t be cartooning during the election.  I adored doing it during the last two.  It was my favorite time as a cartoonist.

I have thought of some stuff to share!

1.  I fear the Republicans might win the next election.  Well, that’s not true.  I think President Obama will probably win, as he SHOULD, but what if the unthinkable happens and Newt or one of the other chickenheads the Republicans are running suddenly becomes president?  Dear God, help us.  Romney is the best of that bunch and that is sad.  SAD.  But they don’t seem to like him that much–they seem attracted to the crazy.  I can understand that, there is a certain allure to the crazy, as I can attest, but I don’t think we want “the crazy” in a President.  Huh?  At least I don’t.

2.  If you pray (and I hope you do) please pray for Joshua.  He is five years old and he is dying.  Long ago I was friendly with his mama and his family–If you’ve read my blog at all then you know who I am talking about.  The whole family is going through some tough times right now, and they could use your prayers.

And 3.  Last but not least, I read an article that said that if you make 2.5 million dollars and invest it correctly, then you can live on the interest forever (at just over $100,000 a year) and not touch the principal.  I have no idea if this is true, but I have latched onto it.  So my new years resolution is to make 5 million dollars by June.  Heck, the tax man will want his share, and I always WAS an overachiever…

Now.  How to do it, how to do it… Hmmmm….

Cheers to you, my friends.  May we all be 5 million dollars richer at the end of 2012!!!!

 

A new year, a new me.

I have finally posted the last Clear Blue Water cartoons on my site.  It feels good to get them done. I have known that I wanted to finish them up before the year ended, but I kept procrastinating and suddenly I only had a few days left.  I was rusty–everything took much longer to do than it used to.  I forgot how to do some stuff and actually had to go look at my cheat sheets.  I am proud that I met my last, self-inflicted deadline.  I still got it!

This has been draining though, and now I really need to go rejoin my family.

Before the day ends, I will put up my last blog post.  I can’t say it will be the absolute last one for sure, but it feels like it.  I have come to really cherish my privacy, and a public blog does not help with privacy issues!  I wish my last blog post could be profound, but it probably won’t be.  I wish my last cartoons were the best I’ve ever done, but they aren’t.  I quite like some of them and others, not so much.  Luckily, I KNOW the one’s I hate will be the ones others like, and vice versa.  If things keep going like they usually do.

…More later tonight.  Happy 2012!!!

My newest favorite internet videos.

Today, I thought I’d bring you three of my favorite videos on the internet.  The first one I think is hilarious.  Now, nobody else I have shown this to thinks it is funny.  They all think it is disturbing (which it is–undeniably) and they think I am disturbed for liking it.  I do not deny this.  BUT I also think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  How much do I wish that this was MY grandma?  SO MUCH!!!

 

This next one is also terribly hilarious in a completely different way.  And again, no one I have shown this to thinks it is half as funny as I do.  I am sensing a theme here…  Now I don’t think it’s funny because of what it shows (babies should not be allowed to drink), but because of what it represents (figure that out, ha!)

And now for something good.  Not horrible or weird, just something by one of my favorite people on the net, Beth Moore.  It is hilarious and then it always makes me cry in the end.   Wonderful.

Have a good Sunday.  Enjoy!

 

 

Hope.

I just wanted to post a happy update about my son Sawyer.  For a little background, Sawyer has been an extremely difficult child for most of his life.  He’s autistic but he’s also got severe OCD and he loves to destroy things.  He’s also plagued with rage and terrible tantrums.  He harms himself when he is angry.  Our life has not been easy, and I would not have chosen this path had God asked for my input.

When he was about four things got so bad he had to be medicated.  That medication was an anti-psychotic made for people with schizophrenia.  It was not made for four year old autistic kids, BUT, Sawyer was being violent with his baby sibling, and we couldn’t allow him to keep harming our other child, and we were worried that he might actually kill the baby on accident.  So we started the medication and Sawyer calmed down.  But, it gave him a flat effect.  What I mean is, Sawyer was no longer ever happy.  He was either blank, or he was drugged out or he was enraged.  Gone was our happy child.  Nothing seemed to give him joy anymore.  He still liked music but not in the same way that he had.  It was heartbreaking.  We spent the next several years going from doctor to doctor, seeing different neurologists, etc and trying to get another medication perscribed.

Here is what happened. No one would take him off this medication.  Instead they added other meds on top of this.  Some of these were horrible.  One made him have a psychotic break and he had to be hospitalized.  In desperation, we took him off of all meds for a short time.  Things got terrible quickly and so we reluctantly put him back on them.  It was not a good situation and the side effect of this med were doing terrible things to Sawyer.  Things that could become permanent.

About three years ago I felt that God was prompting us to start again with his meds.  I felt like we were supposed to take him off of all meds for a good amount of time (to let all of them leave his system).  Maybe we would find out that he would not need any meds anymore (I really hoped this would be the case), or maybe it would just give him a good clean start to see what different meds would do to help him.  So, with our doctor’s reluctant approval, we weaned him off of all drugs.

…And all hell broke loose.  Literally.  It was a TERRIBLE year.  Terrible.  Yes, I said a YEAR.  We were in it for the long haul and so we let him go a year with no meds to give him a complete break.  He was SO difficult.  SO violent.  He didn’t sleep or want to eat anymore.  But…. he was also happy.  His joy came back, and this, we decided, was not something we were willing to lose again.  After a year, when it became really clear to us that all meds were clear of his system and he was NOT going to come around to being easy and placid, we began looking for a good psychiatrist.  Sawyer had seen a BAD psychiatrist but we wanted someone who knew what he was doing with the whole drug thing.  We got some recommendations and found someone.

Our first appt. was quite short.  Only about 15 minutes.  The dr. met Sawyer, talked to us, took a quick history, asked us what we hoped to happen and perscribed some meds.  He listened when we said we did not want anything that would give Sawyer a flat effect.  We were not interested in them no matter how great the drugs  were supposed to be.  We wanted Sawyer to be able to feel and experience emotions other than anger and blankness.  The dr. ended up perscribing a completely different class of meds than we had ever tried before and the difference was remarkable.  But not quite right.  Sawyer was a little lethargic.  He wasn’t sleeping soundly.  He would get violent at certain times of the day.  We went back every week for a while and the dr. would tweak this med a bit or that one.  Tell us to try giving them at different times of the day, etc.  There is one class of drug that we have found that Sawyer absolutely cannot tolerate (even though they usually work great for kids with his problems) but we’ve found other’s that work for him.  Soon we tapered our appts. to every two weeks then once a month, and that is where we have stayed.  Our appts. now are only a few minutes long.  Sawyer’s meds have been pretty stable for over a year and he is doing so great.

He is a different child.  He still has bad OCD but he is much calmer.  He talks more.  He has more patience.  His tantrums are not even in the same ballpark as where they were before.  Our lives have gotten exponentially easier and I am so glad we did this.

I am not going to tell you what meds made him crazy or what meds work for him now.  They are different for each child and that is the point.  But I do want to offer hope.  If you are going through something similar, you might try seeking out an experienced psychiatrist.  If you find someone who knows what they are doing, who will listen to your concerns… it can make all the difference in the world.

I used to be afraid to admit that Sawyer was doing good.  I was afraid it would be all taken away.  I was afraid the fates would see me bragging and smack me down.  And Sawyer DID seem to go downhill just about every time we said things had stabalized.  But God convicted me that I needed to tell people when Sawyer was doing well.  I needed to enjoy it for the gift from HIM that it was, and so I am.  I do.

I know that if things start to go downhill again, we now have a good doctor who will listen to us in place.  He is willing to try different drugs, he knows how they interact with each other, he knows side effects and he listens to our concerns and tweaks things accordingly.  And I know that we will get things under control again quickly.

Life is good right now.  I am blessed.  Sawyer is still disabled but …manageable.  I write this post not to brag but to perhaps give someone who is still struggling some hope.  This is what has worked for us.

Please allow me to brag– My baby has graduated!

In case you were wondering, we have been stuck in full-on graduation central around here.  Literally something going on every single day it seemed.  And this lasted for weeks.  But now Clem has graduated with honors and so things will go back to normal and I can find time to finish my last few cartoons.

WHEW.  I really had no idea what a busy year senior year is.  I don’t remember my own being anything like this, but then, I didn’t live in Mayberry and Clem does.

In the end, she came away with enough scholarships and grants to fully fund her first year of college!  (It should fully fund all four years, but we are taking this one year at a time, and we will apply for more scholarships next year just in case…).  No debt, no student loans and no rich parents to pay for it.  Just good old fashioned hard work.  It IS possible.  It’s not easy, but it is possible.

Way to go Clem!  You dun yer momma proud!

On Zumba and Oprah (and Donder and Blitzen…)

I recently hurt my back doing Zumba.  Yes, those dancing workout tapes you might have seen on a late night infomercial or two.  They are really fun tapes, really great workouts, and I feel like an absolute ass that I hurt myself so badly doing it.  In fact, it’s been thoroughly embarrassing thing to admit to people when they ask how I hurt myself.  First of all, they are always incredulous.

ZUMBA?!!!!!  said in a near scream.  This is followed by an evil grin and I can see them imagining me doing it.  YOU do Zumba?  The Brazilian dance craze sweeping the nation?

This I find irritating.  For, you see, I am fairly dancy, but I do like to keep this part of my personality on the down low so as to not cause jealousy in the masses.  I will have you know that I own Hip Hop abs, and I have done them a few times so I am perfectly ready to throw down some moves on the dance floor.  If, you know, I had that sort of life.

Secondly, then they ask all about Zumba and forget to give me sympathy for my back pain.  How do you like it?  Is it a fun workout?  Is it easy?  Yeah, but what about ME and my BACK????

So I went to the Dr.  and she said I had a pinched nerve.  I told her I’d need at least a morphine pump or maybe some of those drugs that Elvis was on, or maybe even a wee bit of the crack, but she told me Tylenol and a heating pad would be fine and that I should feel loads better very soon.  And she was right.  Today I woke up back to normal.  Oh, and she also told me I could continue to do Zumba, but to be careful as I’m over forty now.

Weeps.

In other news, today was the last Oprah Winfrey show.  I meant to watch but I missed it.  I will try to catch it on youtube sometime.  It led the news.  “Today, Oprah Winfrey wrapped up her beloved show…” and my husband says, before I can say a word “Did they roll her out on a cross?  Because that’s the only fitting end.”

And I lost it.

What a great cartoon that would have made, if, of course, I hadn’t just shared it here on my blog.  My husband is the funniest person I know.  He has exactly my sense of humor (except mine’s not as vulgar) and this is rare.

‘S why I married him.  Why we’ve been together so long.  For the road to happiness is paved with Oprah jokes.

The upcoming end of the world.

I have to admit it, I feel incredibly sorry for the nice folks who have sold their stuff and quit their jobs and have spent the last few months preaching the word of God to the lost so that everyone could be saved from the upcoming rapture tomorrow.  Because I am calling it now…. Ain’t.  Gonna.  Happen. … Tomorrow.

Now, see, I do believe that what the Bible says is gonna happen is eventually going to happen.  Jesus is coming back.  Their will be a judgment day, of that I am certain.  Only, because I DO believe what the Bible says, I also believe it when Jesus says that nobody knows when this will happen.  He goes on to say that even He, Jesus Himself doesn’t know the exact date and time.  Only God knows.  So if God hasn’t told Jesus, His beloved SON when this is all going down, what makes this preacher and all these folks think that THEY have figured it out?

On the one hand, I admire their faith and their commitment to the cause.    On the other, I am amazed at their sheer …hubris.  Pride goeth before a fall, and these folks are in for one heck of a huge fall.  This preacher has been wrong before.  He first predicted the end of the world in 1994, but now he admits he did the math wrong, but he’s certain he’s computed everything correctly this time around.  Whew.  SO glad.

I don’t want to think about the ridicule these folks will face when Sunday, May 22, 2011 comes around and we are all still here.  But now they are homeless and moneyless and jobless and humiliated and angry and they feel stupid and duped and…  I just really feel for them.  I don’t like to think about the constant mocking they will face and I hope people will have compassion for them.

I had a series of toons ready to go for tomorrow, but then I felt bad about it, so I scrapped them.  Tomorrow (or actually, if you are reading this after midnight, TODAY) is going to be hard enough on them without me adding to it.  (I’m such a hypocrite because I am totally not dropping this blog post.  I ain’t THAT nice…  So there!)

So.  My position on the end of the world?  I know it will happen eventually.  Jesus IS going to come back.  It might be soon (the signs are here), but I don’t know if that means it will happen in my lifetime or not.  I welcome it, if it does.  I know that I am saved.  And if it doesn’t, that’s cool too.  After all, this is God’s perfect plan, not Karen’s.

On a serious note, I hate hearing about all the people who think it will be one big party for the folks who are not saved once the pesky Christians leave.  Believe me when I tell you, it won’t be.  One day we will ALL bend our knee to God (willingly or not) and face His righteous judgment.   You don’t have to believe in Him or to love Him to one day be judged by Him.  One day you will absolutely know that He is who He said He is.  Please don’t let that recognition happen too late for it to matter.

Read Revelation.  That’s some scary stuff right there.  The Bible says that the ONLY way to the Father is through Jesus.  You cannot get there on good works.  It doesn’t matter if you are nice.  It only matters if  you know and believe that Jesus Christ is the son of the almighty God, that he died for your sins on the cross, and that he rose again three days later.  Repent, turn away from your sin and follow Christ.

If, against all odds, the world were to end tomorrow, I know that I am saved.  I know that I am going to spend eternity in heaven with Jesus.  If you aren’t sure where you’ll spend eternity, then repent of  your sin and ask Jesus into your life.  You will be glad you did.

I realize that this post will not make me popular.  I will probably face some ridicule myself.  I bet you didn’t know I was such a Fundamentalist, huh?  Eh, I might go to a Southern Baptist church, but I’m still a democrat.  Still for gay rights and women’s rights.  Still the same flawed person I’ve always been.  Only now, I’m a little bit more as well.

Karen Montague-Reyes.  Wife.  Mother. Writer.  Cartoonist.   …and proud Jesus freak.